How to recognize a Desi on return to India from first visit to son/daughter working in the US of A.......
22. Both mother and father have brand new baggy blue jeans and sports shoes...probably Nike !!
21.Tries to use Credit Card in a dhaba.
20. Carries Mineral Water.07. Complains about everything in India especially the traffic, filth etc etc ).
19. Sprays Deo liberally.
18. When someone sneezes says 'God Bless'
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
"Yogurt" instead of "Curd".
"Cab" instead of "Taxi".
"Candy" instead of "Mithai/Chocolate".
"Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
"Gotta Go" instead of "Have To Go".
"Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Complains about air pollution every time he steps out and spits on the street.
15. Says all the distances in Miles and counts in Millions.
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but in his mind multiplies by 56 .....now 60 times !!!).
13. Looks for the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
12. Calls the alphabet Z , as "Zee" !!.
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on seeing DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!
10. Even after a month complains about jet lag.
09. Avoids eating chili (hot) stuff.
08. Drinks only Diet Coke and not regular Coke.
06. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".
05. Looks suspiciously at Hotel/Dhaba food.
04. From his luggage, does not remove the tags of foreign Airlines by which he travelled
03 and 02 deleted !!
And finally :-
01. Begins all conversation with "In the US ...." or "When I was in US..."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am an Indian... and these make me more so.....
When the shampoo bottle seems to be over, I pour some water in it, shake it, and use it for another couple of baths.
A toothpaste isn't over until I've entirely flattened it out and started rolling it up from the back.
I buy broccoli and avocados for 300 Rupees, but still ask for some dhaniya patta for free.
I don't just recycle gifts, I recycle the gift-wrapping paper too.
When a bulb gets fused we move it around trying to get the filament to join again
I worry about price of gold without any intention of buying it!
I will beat the crap out of my TV remote to make it work but not change the battery
We get cheesed off if the Gol Gappa guy doesn't give a free sukha puri in the end when I ask for one.
When my T-shirt gets old, I use it as night wear, when it gets older, I play holi in it & then I use it as a pochha.
I ask for extra oregano and chili flakes from the Dominos guy, so that I can use them later in my Maggi noodles at home .
With warm regards,
Ravi
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